Decision, decisions

I’m feeling very scattered tonight. First off, the movie The Help was good, but not as great as the book of course.  Isn’t that always the case?  I’m currently deciding which book I want to read next.  Writing this blog is delaying me from having to make the choice.  So the secret’s out of the bag…I’m terrible at making decisions.  And this really has been a struggle when writing my book too.

As I was going through the recent edits of my book, I just kept thinking, do I really need to make that change?  It took me a long time to get through all the critique.  I do not take criticism very well.  But I’m done and it is now in the hands of my final editor…my wonderful fiancé.  I asked him specifically to just point out typos and any inconsistencies.  So otherwise…zilch.  The story is done as far as I’m concerned.  I’ve tapped out.

And I don’t mean I’ve tapped out because it’s good enough.  I’m done working on it because I’m convinced that it’s amazing.  Another secret is out of the bag…I don’t take criticism well because I tend to be a little cocky.  I’m beginning to wonder how big this bag is.

Thank You For The Help

With all the books I’ve read lately I’ve been so upset that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to suspend my disbelief. But then I read The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  I cried, I laughed, I hoped…this book got to me in such a good way.  It didn’t annoy me like all the other books I’ve been reading since I’ve entered editing mode of my own novel.  I actually couldn’t stop reading The Help and I was so sad when it was over. I’m sure that Stockett got a lot of heat since she is a white woman writing in the perspective of black maids in the 60s.  And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t skeptical despite hearing such great things about it.  Stockett did it though.  She made me love those characters and grow with them.  I wanted Aibileen to be able to feel whole despite the loss of her son.  I was so eager for Minny to get out of her abusive relationship.  And I was so proud of Skeeter for staying true to what she believed in, despite heartache and the loss of her friends (who needs them?).

The only thing I didn’t like about the book was how open ended the ending was. And it’s only because I loved the characters and wanted to know what happened next with them.  I wanted to be able to verify that Aibileen and Minny stayed safe and were able to successfully start the next chapter of their lives, and I wanted to see if Skeeter was able to find love and acceptance in New York.  If it hadn’t been a great book, then I wouldn’t have been disappointed with the ending at all.  I’m itching to see the movie now too.  I’m not ready to let go of the characters yet, so I’m hoping the movie stays true to them.  I can only hope that my book can tug at the reader’s heart strings in such a way.  The Help gave me hope that good books do still exist and that I’m still able to enjoy reading.  I was beginning to feel a little lost, so thank you for The Help, Stockett!

Lay vs. Lie…Grammatical Nightmares Unleashed

Editing a book pretty much sucks. When you finish writing a novel, you can’t help but think that you’re super close to releasing your book into the world.  In reality, though, you have to edit it for months and months.  This is definitely my least favorite phase of the novel writing process.

When I was younger I was terrible at reading. I was in the lowest reading/writing class in school and I was embarrassed.  So I spent my free time and pretty much the entirety of my summers reading.  I’ve read so many books that I couldn’t possibly count them all.  And eventually I got moved up.  I made it to the top reading class.  I’d say all the hard work paid off, but it wasn’t hard work.  Once I picked up a book and started reading for fun I couldn’t stop.  It’s one of my favorite things to do.  But there’s still that insecure kid in me that’s worried I’m not good enough.  So the editing phase of my book has been a complete nightmare.  I’m learning things about grammar that I never learned in school.  The difference between lay and lie gets me every time.  I can’t use either word without looking them both up.  Sometimes I just ask my fiancé because I can’t bear to search for it again, but surely he’s losing patience with me for asking the same questions over and over.  There are just so many tiny, frustrating little grammatical things like that.  I’m working hard though, and I do hope to have my book ready soon.

I’ve actually taken a small, much needed break from editing for the past few weeks (my book is in someone else’s hands and I’m waiting to see what feedback she has for me). So instead of torturing myself looking up lay vs. lie for the millionth time, today I got to work on some of the artwork for my book.  I finalized my map and have the concept down for my cover art.  I really like how everything is coming together.  I just need to keep reminding myself that I’ve come a long way since elementary school.  And one day I know I’ll learn the difference between lay and lie.  Some things just take time.

Here’s a snippet of the spine of my book:

 

New title idea: Irritable Bowel Syndrome by James Dashner

I could have titled this blog post the same as my last one, but this title seemed more appropriate. Today I need to vent about the Maze Runner by James Dashner…oy vey!  I have literally never been so infuriated by a book before.  After seeing a trailer for The Maze Runner movie, I knew I had to read the novel.  Boy was I wrong.  It was one of the worst books I have ever read, if not the worst.  Here are several reasons:

1) The first thing that hits you is the poor and awkward writing style. He barely ever uses the word “and” in the whole book.  This made the sentence structures choppy, slowed down the novel’s pace.  (See, wasn’t that awful.)  Plus, it’s so strange to read, especially when you’re reading it out loud.

2) The made up curse words. Um…why?  So unnecessary and awkward.  They aren’t consistent at all either.  Shank could literally mean any curse word.  If you’re going to be crazy and make up words, make them mean the same thing throughout the novel.  What the klunk, you know?

3) There was no character development at all. You’d think you knew a character and they would completely change in a few pages. For example…Frypan is a full supporter of Thomas.  He says he agrees with him and leaves food out for him when he misses meals.  Sweet guy, really.  But then Frypan loses his mind (I have to assume) and hates Thomas’ guts.  He basically turns into another character…Winston.  This leaves me to think that this is just a book about schizophrenic boys.  Maybe it is.  In that case, well done James Dashner.

4) The main character has major problems. And by major problems…I mean he has irritable bowel syndrome.  Thomas’ reaction to everything is a hurt tummy.  I get it…it’s a highly stressful place.  But if your reaction to every little thing is a churning stomach, just take the time to go to the bathroom or something.  You have a problem Thomas!  You’re annoying.  You need to take a klunk and get over yourself.

5) Really just no consistencies. Alby has been there for 2 years.  There is one new boy a month.  So 24 boys total, yes?  Nope, absolutely not!  Thomas says there are 50 or 60 boys.  And in the last battle there’s 40 something (since some stayed back).  So how are there so many?  Dashner casually mentions near the end of the book that a bunch of boys were place there at the start.  That would totally explain it if it wasn’t for a point at the beginning of the book…Alby has been there the longest.  All the boys before him (or who came with him) are dead!  Dead!  Which means there should only be 24.  What the heck James Dashner?!  Get it together man!  Another example of inconsistencies: At one point, Thomas is asking Newt what Track-hoes are.  And Newt says they’re the ones that work in the Gardens and that Zart is the keeper.  A few pages later, Thomas is in the Gardens working and asks Zart what the Track-hoes do.  Umm…what?  You’re in the Gardens you idiot, working as a Track-hoe…with Zart, the keeper!  But no, it’s a valid question because Zart goes ahead and explains that the Track-hoes take care of the Garden while he and Thomas are literally weeding a garden.  What is happening in this book?  Who edited this disaster?  You’re the worst!

6) It’s called The Maze Runner. Make the maze more interesting?  Be in the maze more?  Make him a runner for more than a few days?  Just a few possibilities that may make the book more effective.  Descriptions are terribly lacking.  If you’re going to make a book center around a maze, make the maze freaking awesome, man!

7) Barely anything happens. Maybe this could have been an effective short story.  Boy wakes up with no memory, feels like he’s been there, travels in a maze, some people get killed, exit maze.  Voila!  Yeah…I still wouldn’t read it.  Even if the next two books in the series were a chapter long I wouldn’t waste my time reading them.

And the most infuriating part? I watched the trailer for the movie once I had finished the book and it still looked good!  But I learned my lesson.  Just because a movie looks good, I shouldn’t force myself to continue a novel that is a piece of klunk.  I should have stopped after the first several pages and listened to my gut instead of waiting for it to magically be wonderful.  If you’re wondering if I had my expectations too high because I thought the movie looked good, it’s not that.  Yes, I expected it to be good, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s awful, boring, poorly written sludge.  Anyway, I’m embarrassed to have it on my shelf.  I’m probably done reading young adult novels.  And young adults should stop reading them too…books like this make us dumb.  I will never read another James Dashner book…I’d rather have  irritable bowel syndrome myself.  I will never read anything from Delacorte Press again, because clearly they have bad judgment.  I hated it so much that it upsets me that other people like it.  I just can’t figure out why people like this book.

Who didn’t see that coming? he ASKED

I feel like I’ve gotten kind of bad at reading books now that I’m in editing mode for my own novel. Every book I pick up seems to be filled with errors, which makes it really hard to get into the story.  And usually there’s a few glaring flaws that make me want to stop reading halfway through.  I read Michael Crichton’s Prey a few months ago and he used “asked” to describe everyone saying anything.  He asked, she asked, they both asked at the same time.  Maybe it was worse because I was reading it out loud to my fiancé (one of our favorite pastimes is curling up on the couch and binge reading). But once I started hearing myself say the word over and over again it became even more jarring.  It literally made me cringe to say “asked” so many freaking times.  It was frustrating yet humorous at the same time.  There are so many other words to use besides “asked”, right?  Also, about halfway through the book he casually mentions something that ends up being the solution at the end.  Who didn’t see that coming?  Well, we sure did, and after all the “asked” we had to suffer through, we at least wanted a twist at the end.

I still love reading, don’t get me wrong. And really, reading books that have plot holes and glaring editing mistakes gives me hope that my novel will do well once I send it out into the scary world.  Plus, it makes me look for mistakes I may have overlooked before.  So bring on more books!  Maybe once I take my editing hat off I’ll be able to truly enjoy reading again.  Until then, good luck getting me to suspend my disbelief!